Cultura Ignoralius Americana – A subspecies of the Cultura Ignoralius, the American variety is found rather fittingly in America.
This variety asks for pouring cream/demands pouring cream, can’t seem to understand why Kiwis don’t put pouring cream in their cawffee, don’t seem to make a connection between the cream and their ever-expanding waistlines. Yesterday I had a new request.
Customer: “Do you have honey”
Barista (me): “No I’m afraid we don’t, sorry”
“What! Starbucks without honey?” as he displays a flabbergasted face as if I have just said we don’t sell coffee or something.
Here we go
“Yeah I know, do you put that in your coffee or something?” I say trying to sound somewhat interested.
“Uh-huh its much smoother than sugar…”
Like I really care
“…and in the States they have it on the condiment bar over there…”
no really do you think I give a crap? just have an ‘equal’ like all the other Americans and get a brain tumor from the aspartame
“…well I guess I have just have to have normal sugar then”.
Finally that ones over but whey-hey he dropped NZ$4 change in the tip jar. At least this type of customer pays to receive my faux-interested service.
